DON'T KILL YOURSELF IT'S ABOUT TO GET REALLY GOOD.
To Lexi, 12/19/97 - 5/12/15
To say I have wrote this time and time again would be an understatement. for 10 years I have thought over and over again about why you held my hands while I cried after school on May 12, promised me it was going to be okay. I wonder your thoughts going hiking up to that cliff, why you picked flowers, and why do I still have those last wild flowers you picked in a jar? What was in your head that day? Was it planned? or did school just suck? Did you just snap? I don’t blame you. I know you thought of all of us because you let us know. Why didn't u turn around when the storm was coming? How did you do that hike in flats? Do you hear me? Are you happy? is the war of your mind at ease?
I still talk to your family close, Faithy your baby sister is doing good, and she reminds me of what you could have been.
I love you forever, and I can never blame you for leaving us because if the war in your mind was so deep that the hike to the cliff didn't trump it, and you just had to jump. you did what you needed to and who am I to say toughen up. You shaped me DEEPER than you will ever know. I often think of catching snakes, sneaking them in the house just so they could hang out with us while we painted our nails. In another life I believe that is where we are. I Love you for everything you were, are and might have been. Thank you for being mine for a glimpse of this life time.
DON'T KILL YOURSELF IT'S ABOUT TO GET REALLY GOOD.
To Allison, 9/11/97 - 9/10/2020
You held me through Lexis death, I will never get to repay you for that. I think of our last call, the day prior; we were always so open about our little head spaces, you promised me you wouldn't lose the war of your mind and I promised you if you did a deep deep part of my heart would go with you, I held my promise. I know you just snapped under the pressure. I know exactly why you snapped, please know that doesn't go unnoticed. The moment you left I felt it, I felt it deep deep in my soul. It hit me like the same train that came through town to let me know you were okay, I know that was you al.. Memories still pop up on my phone and I get to hear your laugh again, or be reminded how care free you are. I wonder what you would be doing? Your mom and I can't see each other without crying, but the tears have lightened and by the end we are usually giggling catching up like we used to in the garage. In another life I believe that is where we are. I Love you for everything you were, are and might have been. Thank you for being mine for a glimpse of this life time.
